Shaped by Process
Practicing Process
The process is my favorite part. The icky fringe feeling of envisioning possibilities. The sacred decision to continue past comfort until you grace the cheek of completion. The course is over you’re finally unbridled by limits of progress paving a path of your own. “Keep braving the tide Sanai!”, I remind myself. When life sweeps me up into sudden responsibility the process holds me like a tender hug before the waterworks flood in. I can cultivate creativity among the chaos, to soothe my spirit. I truly believe the practice of exercising your artistic abilities (cooking, teaching, painting, photography, gardening, gifting, etc.) can nurture you and nourish others. This art is mine for a moment and the viewers for eternity, I choose to cherish the process. I long to last beyond me.
Visual Language
Unconsciously, I’ve been creating a visual language. Little symbols that link themselves together across mediums. I’ve uncovered a spiral in an eye I drew in the 5th grade and constantly since. These antennas or light beams are new circa 2025 or so. I had this splitting headache then suddenly the pressure dissolved. Directly after I described it with my hands( \|/ ) where the entry point sharp like and ice pick but the release an exhale in the ether. It was raining I’m sure. Energy cannot be created nor destroyed. I honestly feel like a unified wifi router or something. Stars also make appearance in my art often, they remind me of our boundless nature.
Dreaming Beyond
Dreams are meant to be dissected, synchronies are waiting to reveal your desires to you. Love really is at the edge of creation your passion longs to branch out of your arms, out of your heart and into the atmosphere. I love exploring through self portraits I get to track multiple developmental changes artistic and physical. I’ve gotten to an internal pitch point where I’m stretching for more. Bigger commitments, bigger canvas, different mediums, more expression. Its fragmenting and fulfilling standing a the balancing beam of dreams. Honestly healing isn’t the goal, holding is. Holding space for my body on flare days. Where I crawl out of the shower because of sharp pain and all consuming dizziness. Days where I wish I could drive just so I could go somewhere. Days where the nerve pain is so intense I can’t grip the brush to paint. Those days where a mobility aid is a lifesaver and my breath is a broken prayer for change. Art can assist me to participate in possibility. People ask me about what inspires me I often say life, but the true answer is living my life and allowing it to shape me. We are all connected in different ways linked together by a phrase or world event the current is change, change is constant. Art allows connection to flourish beyond reality to build new imaginative tools. I remember reading “Brown Girl Dreaming” and crying, or painting while humming my current favorite song. Our passions project us out of perfection and into the process which is preparing for possibility.
Thank you for reading my reflections on art and process! I often feel like I’m repeating myself but I reread my blog and realize I am just so in my head that my thought become essays before I’ve had the chance top recored them lol. The similarities in themes and thinking are spiraling until I’m done examining them ig. I am so grateful for all the beautiful support I’ve received lately and even in the silence I allow my creativity to hold me.
